There's Lipstick on my Sparring Gear!

When I was in the Air Force, some of my colleagues on deployments knew me as "Ninja Princess." It was a call sign of sorts. I even had my name patch for my flight suit embroidered "Ninja Princess." I liked it. It reflected the tough side of my inner strength as well as my more feminine side! Oh, I guess it also made suggestions to my Asian heritage. :-) I have always been proud of my heritage and have used being a "mixed breed" to my benefit! Ninja Princess was an alter-ego that allowed me to portray the tough, beautiful chick I always wanted to be.

Lately, I find myself missing Ninja Princess. I miss her mystery, her spontaneity, her body...

Recently, I've noticed that I have been describing myself as a "Mom of two." In fact, I AM a mom of two beautiful boys. I enjoy my role in their lives and wouldn't trade it for anything! However, I am beginning to feel like that "Ninja Princess" part of me isn't totally gone. I am realizing that I can't let society or anyone else DEFINE me and how I play my roles in life. That has to come from me. I settled into my responsibilities and tasks of being a stay-at-home mom and a wife who blesses her husband. To be honest, I think I am doing a pretty good job, with God's grace. I know in my heart, though, that I can do more. I can step into the role that uses more of my potential - more of NINJA PRINCESS!

So, putting a little more life into my wardrobe and getting that eyeliner back out and not succumbing to "looking like a mom" would be helpful! Participating whole-heartedly in a Taekwondo tournament and sparring like a champion would be so satisfying in reconnecting with her. Finding time to be alone and not feeling guilty for it would potentiate the strength and freedom I found in being like her.

Don't get me wrong...I am infintely aware of what stage I am in in my life. My most important resposibility is my family. If my mom had taught me anything in life, it was to do my best. For some time, I equated developing my own self with self-centeredness. That's how Ninja Princess got lost in the first place. I HAVE to find ways to be Cheri. The girl that loves fun, cares about people, strives for excellence, and has a quirky,mysterious side to her! So, I will most likely not wear the skin-tight leather pants with the patent leather black stilettos again; my body may not move on the dance floor like it once did; my lipstick won't be the color of a delicious candied apple. I know these things would be inappropriate for a mom of two...

...but I can't help to wonder - that as I grow into the potential God has placed in me to be, it's going to be less about the things I wore and how I looked. It will be more about the attitude and confidence I carry as I reunite with my old friend, Ninja Princess. It will be the strength of spirit and confidence in who God has made me that shines through when... I put on that seductive outfit with the hot shoes, move myself on a dance floor, and paint my lips whatever color that happens to make me feel more like striking a ninja pose and yelling, "Hi -Ya! I'm back, baby!"

Signing off.

Ninja Princess...aka...mom of two!